Table for One: This Is Why You Shouldn’t Feel Awkward Dining Alone

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Eating alone tends to be seen as sad. In fact, 20th century philosopher Jean Baudrillard went as far as to write, “Sadder than destitution, sadder than a beggar is the man who eats alone in public.” 

I’m no philosopher, but that’s a little dramatic, isn’t it?

With more and more of us living alone and with hectic schedules even before the pandemic came around, the number of people eating by themselves has risen over the past few decades. And Americans, for the most part, feel good about that.

That’s because more than convenience, eating alone can actually be pretty nice, if you look past the stigma. After all, being alone isn’t necessarily the same as being lonely. Plus, science tells us that there can be plenty of physical, mental, and (surprisingly) social benefits to doing it.

So if you’re nervous about making that reservation for a party of one, here’s why you shouldn’t be.

Reason #1: You eat healthier

Studies have shown that we tend to eat more when we eat with friends and family.

In fact, dining with others can mean up to 48% more food eaten than when we eat alone. Researchers from the University of Birmingham explain that we may have evolved this way: Our hunter-gatherer ancestors shared food and ate together to protect against periods of food insecurity, and eating more around people we know is something we do unconsciously.

A 2012 study describes this process as a kind of mimicry. When we eat in groups, we tend to synchronize our eating with the people we dine with. This means that instead of eating just the right amount of food at the right speed for you, you’ll more likely match how your companions are eating: You eat more when they eat more.

Another explanation is that we’re distracted from our food when we’re around others, according to another study conducted by UK researchers. Interacting with friends takes our attention away from what and how much we eat, and we end up eating 18% more than we would if we had been eating alone.

Reason #2: You get to enjoy the food more

Aside from how much we eat, another key takeaway from these studies is that eating alone can affect how we eat.

When we eat alone — whether it’s in restaurants, cafés, or cafeterias — we’re more likely to really pay attention to our food. We get to think about how it looks, how nutritious it is, and what flavors we can taste.

After all, eating alone means that there’s no pressure to make small talk, entertain a date, or weather your parents’ questions about your work or love life. And for those who might be socially awkward, you’re less worried about doing or saying something that might put off your companion. 

Sure, having company while you eat can still be a pleasant and fun experience, too. But being alone can be just as pleasant and fun — just in a different way.

Without any of the distractions of being around others, eating alone means you can focus on your meal and how it plays with your senses. You can admire the sear on your salmon, the crunch of the bread you're biting, the way the vinaigrette brings out the flavors of your vegetables, and the masterful blend of ingredients on your plate.

Just remember to turn off your devices when eating, though, as being distracted by a TV show or movie can counteract this benefit.

Reason #3: You call the shots

When you cook or dine alone, you make all the decisions about your meal and the when, where, and how of it.

There’s no going over the different restaurants in your area to see which ones are open at the same time that everyone in your group is free. There’s none of that weird dance of everyone saying, “anything is fine by me!” only to hear small objections to every restaurant suggestion.

And, there’s no apprehension about going to that new restaurant you’ve been wanting to try out but are scared that people might not like.

Eating alone lets you explore food without all the work that goes into all that, and it saves you time and effort you could spend just enjoying your meal. You can order as much as you want without being judged, too, and you get to save by not ordering that to-share appetizer you never got to taste.

Reason #4: You get to spend time with yourself

When was the last time you really sat down with yourself and thought about how you’re feeling?

In today’s fast-paced world, we don’t get a lot of opportunities to examine our thoughts, check in with ourselves, and just be still. Dining solo can be your way of taking yourself out on a date and doing just that.

Being alone is crucial in getting to know yourself, and it’s also a good way to decompress. After all, our devices mean that we can (and often have to) answer to our bosses, our colleagues, our family, and our friends all the time, wherever we may be. And so, it’s important to take a step back from all that once in a while and experience who we are without all the distractions.

Plus, dining alone can have the nice effect of enhancing your relationships.

“By spending time with yourself and gaining a better understanding of who you are and what you desire in life, you're more likely to make better choices about who you want to be around,” explains Florida-based psychologist Dr. Sherrie Bourg Carter. “You also may come to appreciate your relationships more after you've spent some time alone.”

Not all solo dining is good, though

There is one caveat to all this, however: All the benefits above only apply to those who intentionally dine alone.

According to a recent South Korean study, those whose solo dining experiences are not self-determined — in other words, people who eat alone because they don’t have much of a choice — tend to have worse mental health than those who dine alone because they want to. Again, loneliness is not the same as being alone, but dining alone while being lonely can be pretty sad.

So, even as you discover the joys of having a table for one, do make sure that you’re still making time to nourish your relationships. Like the food you get to savor, being around people in other ways is good for you, too.

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