Decoding BDSM: Understanding the Acronym and Its Practices

Before delving deeper into the subject of BDSM, we have to know that it is a term, created to encompass a group of bellicose practices that are very often erotic and freely consensual between the participants. BDSM is a lifestyle that invites the explore intense sensations that unite pleasure, excitement, and pain. In some cases, this practice is considered a lifestyle. The name is an acronym that combines the acronyms Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism and Masochism. It encompasses a set of six interrelated erotic modalities, linked to what is called alternative sexuality. BDSM is a lifestyle that invites you to explore intense sensations that balance between pleasure, excitement, and pain.

WHAT DOES EACH TERM MEAN?

Bondage

Historically, in previous centuries, it was a term used to refer to the restrictive bond that united masters and slaves, or feudal lords and vassals. The term bondage is also often associated with ropes or other restraints, which are often used in BDSM. Erotic practices related to bondage, then, are properly those that establish asymmetrical power roles, such as master-slave, boss-employee, teacher-pupil, policeman-detainee, etc. In practice, this expression is also related to ties and restrictions for erotic purposes.

Discipline

It is a term that refers to erotic practices related to rules, punishments, training, behavior protocols, or postures according to circumstances.

Domination

Within this erotic practice, this word alludes to the role of control (or dominance) taken by one of the participants to act according to his will and desire over another or other persons who adopt a submissive posture. The person in the dominant role commands and disposes. It is always a domination subject to the consensus and limits established by the person who accepts to be dominated. BDSM" rejects any domination practice, no matter how minimal, that does not have the consensus of the dominated person.

Submission

This refers to erotic practices in which a person adopts a submissive role, in which he/she remains under the will of another person or persons who adopt the dominant role. It is a complementary situation to domination, so it is often referred to as "D/S" relationships. The person in the submissive role obeys or allows his or her body to be acted upon.

Sadism

It is a term that in this context is used to refer to erotic practices in which a person obtains pleasure by causing pain, humiliation or discomfort to another person who accepts that situation. These are always voluntary practices that cannot go beyond the limits set by the person receiving the pain, humiliation or discomfort, and can be stopped at any time. The person who adopts the sadistic role, takes care at all times of the situation of the person receiving the pain, humiliation, or discomfort, to avoid any harm.

Masochism

It is a term that in this context is used to refer to erotic practices in which a person obtains pleasure by experiencing pain, humiliation or discomfort, generally at the hands of another person who accepts that situation. These are always voluntary practices that cannot go beyond the limits set by the person receiving the pain, humiliation or discomfort, and can be stopped at any time.

A LITTLE HISTORY

The first recorded use of the initials BDSM corresponds to a discussion on the Usenet in 1991, and is interpreted as a combination of the abbreviations B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Domination and Submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism).

Actually, some data evidenced the presence of BDSM or at least Bondage and Domination since the beginning of Mesopotamia (4 000 - 3 100 B.C.). Data was found that confirmed celebrations with domination practices, cross-dressing, altered states of consciousness, and many activities that combined ecstasy and pain.

Eventually, in Greece and Rome there were multiple examples of flagellation rituals during the 9th century BC in religious areas such as Sparta. Even the Tomb of the Scourging was found in what was Etruscan in the 5th century BC, where there were images of two men whipping a woman in a sexual practice. Thus, there is much more information on bondage, domination, and other practices that mix pleasure and pain in this ancient era. Even in the Middle Ages, there were practices that today we would call sadomasochism.

At the time of the French Enlightenment, the writings and books of the Marquis de Sade distinguished themselves by describing in detail the sadistic sexual practices of the rich characters of his generation. Hence the term "sadism" was born in honor of the noble writer. The term "masochism" emerged with the book Venus in Furs (1870) by the Austrian Leopold von Sacher-Masoch and his second wife Fanny Pistor. These three characters became famous for their "libertine sexuality", baptizing the practices of sadism and masochism as part of eroticism, pleasure, and sexuality.

Currently, BDSM has three main trends (Bienvenu, 1928, 1934, and 1950): European fetishism; American fetishism, and gay leather. These trends differ in the types of clothing, materials, and adult toys used by their participants. However, with the birth of the internet, BDSM trends were unified, and bondage, submission, soft-bondage, and other practices were added to the rich variety of sexuality.

SOCIAL EVOLUTION

As a globalizing element, BDSM is only a few decades old and began when several associations of homosexual S/M activists in the United States of America and England tried to create the same subcultural space for activities that had been very different until then, such as domination, bondage, fetishism or sadomasochism. It was the time of the Old Guard, in the mid-1970s, and during this period, the movement maintained its links with the male homosexual world, without opening up to the spaces of hetero or female homosexuality and rejecting the idea of admitting ambivalent or switching activists into its ranks, i.e., those who confessed to being comfortable in both roles. They also rejected outright the admission of anyone who considered B/D and S/M relationships as just play. It was not until the early 1980s that the BDSM movement began to encompass heterosexual and lesbian culture as well, with groups such as the Samois lesbian collective and others being promoters of this substantial change.

In the early 1990s, what is now known as the New Guard period began, characterized by a decided openness towards the heterosexual world and female homosexuality, the acceptance of the switch phenomenon, the inclusion of elements of inner sensitivity (psychological domination, D/S relationships without the inclusion of sadomasochistic features, etc.), the acceptance of those who practiced play only, and the active participation of heterosexual women in the BDSM collective.

Robert Bienvenu, a renowned expert on the subject and professor of sociology at Indiana University in the United States, presents an alternative view of the history of BDSM, which he bases on three pillars: European fetishism from the late 1920s, the American fetishism (since 1934), and the leather movement from the 1950s onwards.

WHAT IS A DOMINANT/SUBMISSIVE RELATIONSHIP?

The dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship consists of two or more people who fall into the categories of dominant or submissive. It is a consensual exchange of power, usually to enhance intimacy, sexual desire, or both. It often manifests itself in sex, but it can also be something they practice everywhere.

Regardless of how things play out, there should always be a lot of communication and care in these relationships, especially if they play out in a way that involves BDSM. Everything is a power negotiation, and basically any activity - sexual or otherwise - can exist within a dominant/submissive framework. It all depends on the extent to which practitioners want to incorporate it into their lives.

TYPES OF DOMINANT/SUBMISSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

Master and Servant

This dynamic is self-explanatory: in these relationships, the submissive primarily serves the dominant. That doesn't necessarily mean that sex is the focal point. Sometimes, it's as mild as always making sure you have the food ready exactly the way they like it or doing whatever they ask you to do without asking.

Dominant/submissive bondage

Bondage is quite normal in D/s relationships because it involves a very physical and visceral power exchange that strongly reinforces roles. Some D/s couples practice their power dynamics exclusively through bondage, but nothing prevents either of these subgroups from adding a pair of handcuffs to the mix from time to time. Dominants and submissives who practice bondage often follow rules similar to those in sadomasochistic relationships, including developing a safe word and thorough discussion of boundaries before erotic or kinky play.

D/s Lovers

Focuses more on pleasure and sexual gratification. In this dynamic, the dominant tells the submissive what to do sexually and the submissive gets off on performing the service. This dynamic is the key to many sexual relationships; many people practice some version of this erotic power dynamic without even realizing it. Since this can involve some sexual degradation or power exchange, it is common for D/s lovers to engage in aftercare after play or develop a safe word.

Caretaker/submissive

A more unique dynamic is that of the dom assuming the role of caretaker, while the submissive acts as a helpless subject, such as a child or pet. Age-consensual play can be rewarding for submissives who want to release their anxieties and let their dom or domme lady take care of them. Of course, this need not always be only loving; there is room for discipline and punishment in these relationships, but the extent varies greatly from couple to couple.

Keyholding

Keyholding relationships are also related to sadomasochism, specifically chastity play. In these relationships, one person wears a chastity belt or penis cage. The other holds the physical key or decides when he or she can take it off. It can also be less literal and simply involve the dom deciding when his submissive can touch himself, orgasm, or have sex.

Training relationships

In training relationships, one person is still the master, but the submissive is less of a servant and more of a pupil. This still establishes a unique power dynamic but focuses on a training regimen, usually honing the submissive's sexual skills or techniques.

24/7

24/7 is exactly what it sounds like: these people are in full dominant/submissive life every second of the day. Typically, these couples do not switch roles, while the dynamic in others might. These relationships are remarkable because the D/s dynamic is present in everything their members do, but it must be handled with care. If you don't like it, it's abuse.

Female D/s

Female-led relationships, or FLRs for short, describe any dominant/submissive relationship in which a woman dominates a man. They can take the form of any of the dynamics mentioned above, although most people will probably recognize the ''Dominatrix'' role. Although they may incorporate bondage or sadomasochistic situations, FLRs can be as simple as the domme dictating the submissive's attire or behavior. Many men or masculine-looking people are turned on by female domination, regardless of their sexuality, so this ends up being a prevalent D/s dynamic.